Human beings are an intensely opinionated species. This is particularly true when it comes to marriage. When you’re a lady human of a certain age, you start getting interrogated about when you’ll get hitched. If you’re in a committed, long-term relationship with a special someone, your family and friends give themselves ample permission to quiz you on your nuptial plans, whether you have any or not.
Tying the knot is a big step and timing seems to be one of the people’s biggest concerns. I mean, have you ever encountered one of those desperate girls who are out husband-hunting just because the clock is ticking? It happens.
And before you get all judgy, can you blame them? Women are constantly told that their eggs have an expiration date and that all the “good” men will be gone if they wait too long to find one. If they get married, will that stop them from getting old?
Women should be allowed to let life and experiences shape their personalities before they enter a union with another person. We should be given the time to put our careers and personal development first because no matter what anyone says, marriage is hard. It takes time, effort, patience, maturity, and work. And most women will be glad they developed self-confidence, assertiveness, and the ability to work with others before they joined their lives with someone else’s.
Particularly to older generations, marriage can mean security, well being, safety, and financial stability. They say that they just want that for you, so try not to feel offended if your aunt or grandparent doesn’t recognize that you are leading a happy, secure, and independent life. Modern times have changed but it doesn’t mean that old mindsets have.
If you find yourself overwhelmed by marriage-related inquiries, whether you’re single or in a committed relationship, have some answers and even counter-questions prepared. Be clear about why you don’t want to get married now (or ever), what a relationship represents to you and how it will be impacted by legally tying the knot.
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Also for the longest time, adult single people were often looked at as freakish oddities, social deviants, tragic figures, misfits, and other sorts of aberrations. The fact is that not everyone needs to be or even should be married. For those of you who feel the need to inject your thoughts into the lives of other people’s relationship status, unless they solicit your advice, mind your own business and tend to your affairs! Period!
I truly feel that people need to take the time to think about their needs, wants, and life-long goals when figuring out if marriage is the right move. It might sound like the necessary next step in one’s life, but it’s not the right step for everyone. Making a decision based on what you feel is right for you as a couple is much more important than fitting into what everyone else’s ideas are. Your main responsibility is to yourself.
